Last night I was writing something to post for today, the 3rd day of the 31 days of the New Years Revolution, and it just wasn't right. I may re-work it, and post it eventually, but something about it just didn't jive.
I wrote this long thing about how I am not going to die any sooner than anybody else, even though the weight loss industry would like for me to think so, blah, blah, blah. It was a very "stick-it-to-the-man" kind of piece, which, when executed properly, can be empowering and inspiring. This one? Even though the information was true, and well researched, this post sent me to bed feeling sour.
Because, I realized as I my head hit the pillow, I am happy! I am happy to be who I am, in this particular body, in this particular incarnation, in this particular place and time that is my life. I am happy to be able to ski, and box, and do yoga. I am happy to snuggle with my kids, and watch crappy movies with my husband, and spend too much time on the phone with my friends. I love my job, and I love my clients, who teach me a thing or two about what happiness even means.
I am so happy, I think I ran out of energy to be mad. I don't feel like fighting the power today, because "the power" just doesn't own me anymore. "They," and we all know who "they" are, do not get to determine whether I am happy or not. I do. I choose it, every day. I keep at this happy thing, in a consistent, focused kind of way, and perhaps all that work is paying off! No, this is not a particularly sexy thing to sell, but it is true for me that working at happiness has gotten me further than any external pill, program, lecture series, workshop, or even one-on-one training has ever done. Boring, but there it is.
I don't need to be sour. I don't need to sell HAES to everybody, I just need to live it. I don't have to convince anybody. Maybe people will be inspired - and I hope they will! - to take themselves back, and to take their rights to their bodies and their lives back. But, whether they do or not, I am just really grateful that I am in this place. I can stick it to the man another day.
In honor of my realization that I am, in fact, happy, here is a list I have been composing in my head all day of the things I am grateful for, in no particular order:
1. Yoga. Yoga rules. I really, really love yoga.
2. My husband and my kids, of course.
3. Work that is meaningful and fulfilling
4. Learning new stuff, all of the time
5. Boxing - Even though it throws my C3 vertebra out of whack every time, it is super fun
7. Living in a beautiful, mountainous state
8. Roller Derby
10. HAES and the Fat Acceptance Movement
12. Really soft pajamas
13. Bubble Baths
14. Thick books that take a long time to read
I would love to hear what you are grateful for, and what makes YOU happy today!